It’s almost Thanksgiving and time to take a moment to be thankful. I wondered what people are grateful, so I googled it. According a poll conducted by PlayBuzz, which over 3,000+ people answered. The results were not what I expected.

1.       Family 60%

2.       Health 11%

3.       Significant Other 10%

4.       Friends 8%

5.       Music & Personal Talents tied 4%

6.       Technology/Money/ Pizza tied at 1%

Abstract concepts such as faith, freedom, and love didn’t rate. The significant other squeaked in at 10%. It could be the idea of romantic love no longer enchants. There are more single people in the United States than married or co-inhabiting folks.

Curiously, employment didn’t make the cut either. My grandmother worked three jobs after her husband died. At four in the morning, she showed up at the bakery and made the bread, pies, and donuts for the day. She took a bus across town to get someone else’s children breakfast and stayed to clean the house.  Finally, she took in laundry and mending for those few hours, she was at home. While some people would consider the work a hardship, she saw it as a blessing and a way to feed her own children.

Food was another thing not mentioned, if you discount pizza. A good part of the world goes to bed hungry. Having something to eat is a very big deal. Having something left over is miraculous. A co-worker told me she’d always put a nice dinner on the table when her children lived with her. That made her happy and proud.

Right now, consider what makes you happy. There’s no right or wrong answer. On a dating profile, I listed my dog, sunshine, and Diet Coke with lime as some of my favorite things. Now, that I’m married my husband takes the number one position. A new member to the list is people like you willing to support folks you don’t know with a comment or a tweet. Bless you. This blog hop is for you.  Visit as many blogs as you can because everyone as something for you. It’s our way of giving back. 


Here's  my gratitude slideshow. There's much more, but it took forever to find images.

Who hasn’t watched a movie with a bad boy hero in it They used to be anti-heroes because there was nothing traditionally heroic about them. Remember Rhett Butler from Gone with the Wind? He was so counter culture bad that my grandmother’s husband forbade her to see the movie. She snuck out, saw it, and loved it. Fell a little in love with Clark Gable’s portrayal of Rhett just like almost every other woman of that period. Why?

Rhett Butler never hid his motives. He believed in making money even if it was at the expense of warmongers. He also bucked the social norms of the day by refusing to marry a woman he took for a twilight buggy ride. He did things others wish they could, but dare not do, which made him a rebel. Of course, GWTW fans know Rhett redeemed himself by saving Scarlett, Melanie, and the baby. He joined the Confederate Army, and eventually married the strong willed Scarlett proving he was hero material.

We see the bad boy in several iconic movie stars including James Dean, who epitomized the term.  The handsome star lived hard and fast similar to his trademark role in Rebel without a Cause.  It wasn’t too surprising he died in a car accident.  What was surprising was his real life kindness and consideration, which was a direct contrast to his image as a malcontent snarling at the world.

A bad boy shines in romantic fiction and movies because he’s the dangerous one, the dark one. Not only is he the one mama warned you about. There’s mystery, rumors, and second hand stories about the bad boy too. No matter how much people warn of a perilous outcome, he still draws women. Who is the ultimate fictional bad boy?  Dracula. The reader knows he’s no good and has dastardly plans. Still, the vampire weaves a mesmerizing blend of charm and audacity that lures Lucy. The pampered, aristocratic beauty has never taken a walk on the dark side until she meets The Count.  That’s the temptation of the bad boy hero knowing the danger, but embracing it anyhow.

Although most people would not think of Dracula as a hero, but many bad boy vampires have made the leap into the heroic halls. Vampires are the hero in Blade, Twilight, and a dozen more movies, and countless books. Makes you wonder if the vampire wasn’t more seductive when he was totally evil.

When a man is soulless, a woman has to give up a great deal to be with him, such as life itself. Sacrifice is part of the bad boy package. A woman or girl willingly leaves behind her old life.  That might mean family, a job, a house, or even walking in the sunlight. For no logical reason, women like the idea of chucking it all for that one super hot guy, at least in movies and book. Her love is so strong she doesn’t need anything like emotional support, money, or health insurance.  Our movie heroine isn’t thinking of any of those when she swings her leg over his bike in preparation of roaring down a new road. This would involve being traditional, normal. Bad boys are action, not contemplation.

Bad boys heroes also shores up the myth that the right woman can change bad boy into a married man with a colorful past. Women want to believe that they can be so exceptional that an international spy who has traveled the world could be happy to settle down. The fictional heroine takes on their features in their fantasies.

Most of these media-driven stereotypes are harmless unless you fall into the trap of chasing after bad boys in the belief your life will morph into a romance novel or a romcom. It doesn’t work that way. Bad boys can and often do grow up and change their ways. Not because of the right woman, but because they chose too.

On the other hand, women still chase after bad boys trying to catch the fantasy. It’s not real. Unfortunately, some people never discover this. This includes men convinced of their resemblance to James Dean, a young Brando, or Johnny Depp who often resort to Cosplay to act out their own fantasies.

Who’s your favorite bad boy?